Today Is Beautiful

As I was working on another post, the song "Today Is Beautiful" came on my Spotify, and as I listened to the lyrics a completely different post came to mind. So I abandoned my post about the vegetable soup from last weekend (I promise I'll get it up soon!), and wanted to share something important that I've noticed over the past couple weeks.

I can't explain what's happened but something has slowly just clicked into place. Like everything and I can't pinpoint when it exactly happened but this morning after my run I thought "I've been in a really good mood the past couple weeks". I consider myself a pretty happy and upbeat person but I have those days just like anyone else where I'm annoyed, nothing seems to be going right, or I'm cranky (God help my mom and sister on those days!). I've been told that when I'm cranky, I'm an absolute bear. It's something that I try to work on but I admit, it often gets the best of me! 

Anyway, I started to notice the change the past couple weeks and then my coach, the amazing Katie from katiesfitscript :) made a post this week about her change in perspective. As I watched her video, I was like "aha! that's what it is, it's been a change in my perspective!". So how did this happen to me?!

A couple weeks ago, God laid a truth upon my heart. In my Bible study, the lecture leader said something that really hit me hard. In times of struggle, uncertainty, trials, temptations, whatever you might be going through, instead of asking God "how can I get out of this?", I should be asking "what can I get out of this?".  I immediately felt convicted because I always go with the first option, and will often complain about less desirable circumstances as they come up in my life.

It was a wake up call and something that I wanted to start working on. I began to feel a shift as I started looking more at the big picture. Once that happened things just starting sliding more into place. Applying to grad school, being comfortable with my body, finding greater balance with food, my relationships with the people in my life, and my faith in God and His plan for me.

For awhile now, I've been focusing on only what's in front of me and I think it began to have a negative impact on my life because I was being selfish and caught up in my own world.  I would get stressed about silly little things that are just so insignificant when looking at the big picture. Things like last minute changes in my work schedule, when people would take the machine I needed at the gym, or the stats on my posts. I mean things that really don't matter at all.

So I gave it all to God and tried to see what I could get out of the past two weeks. And let me tell you: I've never had such peace in my life.

I've never felt so comfortable with my body and who I am. I've never felt as sure as I do now of the next step I need to take for my future. I've never felt so much love from the people in my life. I've never felt such strong faith in God and trust in His plan.

As I've started investing in the people in my life and pouring out some of the love and healing God has given me, I've been receiving even more back. I'm not even kidding that once I gave up thinking about how many people read my posts or how many followers, then things started sliding into place. I had women reaching out to me, both readers and in my life. It's been such a blessing to make those meaningful connections and I can't thank God enough for this change in perspective.

I feel as though I completely rambled during this post because I was just kinda winging this as I went. But I hope that it makes sense because the point is I started looking at the big picture in whatever I might be facing-- the "what" that I can get out of the circumstances. We all go through different things in life, both struggles and triumphs, but our attitude is what determines whether or not we learn something from them.

I'm in the process of applying to grad school and yeah it's time-consuming and definitely not my favorite thing. But, looking at big picture I want to do it because I've felt a calling, and I want to give back to others. I want to help women who have gone through similar things as me so the more important thing is being able to invest in others and give back love, it doesn't matter that I don't like the application process. It's not about seeing what's in front of me, but what God sees for me.

So, no matter what I might be going through, I'm going to try to look at the big picture: today is beautiful. I am alive, healthy, loved, and God has a plan for us all. I lost sight of that and allowed myself to get derailed and mixed up in the insignificant things. God has used the past couple weeks to teach me a valuable lesson, and I wanted to share because it has greatly impacted my life for the best.

Here's the song that I was telling you guys about and if you listen to it, please listen closely to the lyrics because it's a pretty powerful message:

<3 with love,
Sam

More Updates: Halloween Weekend!

I know this post is a little late but I was pretty excited this Halloween because it was the first time in three years that I was actually able to enjoy all the treats and candies that come with this holiday. Halloween in 2012 and 2013 were not happy times because both years I was afraid of eating the candy-- one year of gaining weight and the second a trigger for a binge. 

However, this year was different! I was actually looking forward to being able to enjoy a couple pieces of candy here and there. I even survived a Halloween party at my office where coworkers brought in treats. I did my best with guesstimating and was able to eat a lot of the foods! It felt amazing to not feel deprived, restricted, or have any anxiety over what I was eating. 

I guesstimated for the party because I didn't want to pass up enjoying myself! I didn't go overboard but I was able to have a little bit of everything: coffee cake, some chips and salsa, mini brownie, half a sugar cookie and a thumbprint cookie. I just cut off the portion size that I needed and was able to stay on track! 

It was also helpful that the day before the party, we all sat down and talked about what we would make so that no one was bringing the same stuff. This was great for me because I knew what would be there and was able to plan my macros for the day ahead. If not, I was just planning to leave a lot of wiggle room especially with carbs and fats. 

If you're not able to sit down and plan it out like we did, something else I would do is to ask my closer coworkers what they are bringing so I could at least plan to have a little something of that. The rest I would have to leave up to chance and fit in as I went. My office is pretty small and there were only 5 of us so I was able to fit in a little bit of everything since it wasn't a ton of food. 

So the party was a success and big step for me because often times it can still be hard when I have to guesstimate. When I first heard the words "Halloween party" I felt that instant and familiar pang of anxiety-- what am I going to do?! But then I took a step back and reminded myself that this is life and I wanted to enjoy myself and the food. 

I then took a deep breath and started planning my macros and it ended up being a lot easier than I thought. I hardly had to make any huge changes to my usual meals so I didn't feel like I had to hoard all my macros for the party then not be able to eat for the rest of the day. I could even fit in my regular protein pancakes after dinner. And any day you can fit two cookies and protein pancakes is the optimal situation in my opinion!

We had the party on Thursday (a couple people had Friday off) and then on Friday I took my little cousins trick-or-treating. This was another step because I was yet again going to be around a ton of candies, and had to learn how to deal with that. Of course, I had some things planned in my macros and was able to enjoy a Reese's pumpkin, mini twix, and mini snickers. We also stopped by the house of one of our friends from Bible study and she gave us hot apple cider! That one was probably a stretch with completely fitting but like I said it was a guesstimate. 

The important thing is that I didn't completely freak out with being presented a food that didn't fit my macros. I thought to myself "hey even if it doesn't perfectly fit helloooo extra carbs as fuel for my long run tomorrow!" ;)

Speaking of my long run, it was only 40 degrees and the forecast called for freezing rain. I think my face says it all....

Anyway, trick-or-treating ended up being a lot of fun even though I had to take Layla home early when the rain started. We all enjoyed ourselves and it was great to spend time with family. It was also so much fun to watch Layla because she was literally overjoyed with all the youngsters running around, she loves kids! At our friend's house I was sitting on the front steps with her and all the little kids were asking if they could pet her. I was so proud of her because she was such a good girl by remembering her manners, and sat there nicely as they all patted her head. 

I ended the night curled up on the couch and watching a movie with my momma!

Overall, it was a great weekend and just what I needed! I was also very productive with some new recipes which I'll be sure to get up as soon as possible.

Have a wonderful Friday everyone!

Shoulder and Chest Circuit

There are days where I have limited time to workout but any workout is better than no workout, right? With that being said, I had little precious time to do a shoulder workout after I got back from my run on Tuesday morning.

This is when super sets and circuits come in handy because they definitely save me some time but also allow me to still get a great workout in! I personally like doing super sets during most of my workouts but that's just my preference. Also, for those of you who don't know super sets are where you go from one workout to the next without rest in between. 

For example, if you see 3x12 lateral raises SS 3x12 chest flyes all it means is you'd do a set of lateral raises then immediately chest flyes then immediately back to the lateral raises then the flyes until you finish out the 3 rounds. Pretty much it just means you don't stop working out! 

This circuit took me about 20-30 minutes to complete but don't be fooled because my shoulders and chest were on fireeeee! I was able to do this at home because I have adjustable dumbbells that can go pretty high. For the following exercises I used a 15-20lb range, but do what works for you. Just make sure that you are pushing yourself and it's a struggle (without breaking form) to get those reps out. 

Okay, so for the circuit I just did my favorite shoulder and chest exercises: 

x12 upright rows

x10 lying chest flyes 

x12 front raises

x10 push-ups

x10 rear delt flyes

x12 lateral raises

x10 lying chest press

x12 arnold press

Repeat 3 times! I didn't rest between the moves but kept going through the circuit. Instead of doing a circuit, you can also break it up into 4 sets of supersets a.k.a. 3x12 upright rows SS 3x10 lying chest flyes and then 3x12 front raises SS 10 push-ups etc. 

Mango Meringues

I am not the best baker, and most times find myself completely clueless and a total novice. With that being said I have a couple things that I am confident on and one of those is meringues. They're my absolute favorite cookie, and I've made them so many times that I could probably do it in my sleep. 

Everything else can pretty much be a hit or miss but not when it comes down to meringues. I've tried out many different recipes and methods but I stand by this one recipe that never fails me! 

I have no idea where I picked it up but I have the recipe and steps memorized at this point so I just go with it. It was the first recipe I ever tried, and it has ruined all other recipes after it. It's simple and only requires 4 ingredients: egg whites, sugar, cream of tartar, and vanilla. That's it! 

Well, except for this recipe where I decided to add a mango twist. But the mango is totally optional or you could always substitute another fruit for it! Mango just happens to be one of my favorites :)

There are two very important things to consider while making meringues: the weather and oven temperature. I'm not kidding you when I say that it needs to be a non-humid and non-rainy day when you're trying to make them. I thought it was absolutely absurd when I heard that but seriously, I tried it once and could not get the egg whites to whip up properly since my house was too muggy and humid! It sounds crazy but believe me, it can make a difference.

Secondly, I have seen many recipes that vary with cooking time and oven temperature. The key to meringues is lowww and slowwww. I've tried recipes for 30 minutes at 350 and they did not turn out to be proper meringues! When you bite into one, it's supposed to be lightly crispy on the outside and then melt away in the inside. These were like chewy marshmallows and I was not a happy camper.

So, I cook mine at 200 degrees for about an hour and a half, and then turn off the oven and allow them to cool for another half an hour while still inside the oven. I learned that trick by accident once when I forgot about the meringues in the oven after I turned it off. Turns out, it worked! I've seen it in other recipes, too and it just helps the outside shell to get crispy without burning.

For the meringues you'll need:
3 large egg whites
3/4 cup super fine sugar (don't panic there's a substitution)
1/4 tsp cream of tartar
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 package of freeze-dried mangoes (or any fruit you want)

I've never used super fine sugar with meringues because I've never had it in my house or even know where to get it. All I do is throw the sugar in the food processor and turn it on for about a minute until the sugar is much finer. This just makes it easier to dissolve into the egg whites and not make the meringues so grainy. It's not necessary as I've seen recipes with just regular sugar. If you decide to do that then you just might have to whip the egg whites and sugar for a lot longer to really make sure the sugar dissolves into the batter.

Okay, so to make these:

1. preheat the oven to 200 degrees

2. Beat the egg whites on medium-high with a hand-held beater until they're foamy and fluffy

3. Add the 1/4 tsp of cream of tartar and whip the egg whites into soft peaks 

Soft peaks are when the egg whites are still soft enough that they can't hold their form. The peaks will kind of slump over and not remain fully up. 

4. Turn the beater on high and slowly add the sugar about a couple tablespoons at a time. I usually give it a good minute in between additions to really make sure the sugar incorporates. 

5. Once the sugar is fully incorporated (the batter won't feel grainy), add the tsp of vanilla extract and keep beating until stiff peaks form. These will hold their form and will be much thicker than the soft peaks. 

I split the batter up into plain and mango. I only used half the package of fruit but if you're not splitting it up, then use the whole thing. You want freeze-dried because you don't want any extra moisture. The egg whites are very delicate and any water from fresh or frozen fruits could completely ruin the meringues. If you haven't caught on by now, working with egg whites can be a pain! But totally worth it in the end. 

The bag I used was 1.7oz and it was pretty standard for a bag of freeze dried fruit. Anyway, it was probably about 1/2-3/4 cup chopped up. I just guesstimated and eyeballed it to make sure there was enough mango in the batter. 

I first spooned out the plain ones and then folded the chopped up mango pieces into the remaining batter. Make sure you are GENTLE when you do this as you don't want to upset the egg whites at all! 

Important note: DO NOT grease the cookie pan! I use either parchment paper or a silpat mat. Just something that is a non-stick surface. 

I got a total of 22 for this recipe-- 10 plain and 12 mango. Also, don't worry about the placement because meringues don't spread out while cooking. That's why my placement is really random because I didn't now exactly how many meringues I'd get sooo I just kinda put them wherever! 

Bake them at 200 degrees for an hour and a half to an hour and 45 minutes.

When they are done the outsides will no longer be so shiny and glossy, the outside shell will feel crisp, and the bottoms will be an off-white color (a tiny bit darker than the rest of the top). The test I use is if I'm able to pick up the meringue up and it doesn't cave in. I recommend cooking them for a minimum of an hour an a half.
Then, shut off the heat and allow the meringues to cool inside the oven for about 30 minutes or so.

One of my favorite parts about meringues? The macros!
Plain-- 27 calories, 6g carbs, 0g fat, and 1g protein
Mango-- 33 calories, 8g carbs, 0g fat, and 1g protein

What's your favorite cookie?

Mustard & Vinegar Broccoli Slaw

The last time I got a bag of broccoli slaw, it got accidentally pushed to the back of the fridge and I forgot about it. I think we've all done that at some point but I always hate wasting perfectly good food. Anyway, I picked up another bag on Friday and I promised myself that it would NOT happen again!

So Saturday for lunch I decided to make my own little broccoli slaw salad type thingy. I don't really know what to call it so call it whatever you like or what makes sense to you.

It's a low calorie and low-carb recipe, and easily fit into my macros for the day!

All you need is: 
1 1/4 cups broccoli slaw (serving size on the package)
1 sweet red pepper 
1 tsp of stone ground mustard (or whichever flavor you like)

                                       rice vinegar 

First, I cooked down the vegetables a bit. Not until they were cooked through but enough just to soften them. Probably for about 3-5 minutes. I seasoned them with salt, pepper, and some roasted garlic. 

Like I said, I didn't full cook them. Just til they were softer and closer to a noodle-like texture.

My favorite thing to put on salads now is a mixture of mustard and rice vinegar. I do this because they are both "macro-free" which is what I call things without any carbs or fats. They give great flavor without any extra macros to track! I use this combination on my salads, wraps, or even my scrambled egg whites on occasion. 

I don't measure it out exactly but it was about a teaspoon of mustard, and a few dashes of the vinegar. You can also use any kind of mustard you like, stone ground just happens to be my favorite! 

I had my broccoli slaw with an egg-white fluff cake and a balance bar!

The total macros for the broccoli slaw were: 

50 calories, 10g carbs, 0g fat, and 3g protein

Hope you're all having a great weekend! 

10-Minute Salmon Wrap

With following macros, sometimes you end up with random combinations. I do it all the time because I'll plan out certain foods around what I need and throw it all together in a wrap or a bowl. It's not always the most creative but often times I sacrifice fancy elaborate recipes for convenience. 

Last night for dinner it was just one of those meals where it doesn't seem to be my typical dinner food because I was focusing on hitting my macros.

Which led me to a salmon wrap!

I also was just looking for something fast and simple before Amanda and I had to head out to our Bible study that we go to every Tuesday. Dinner is usually never fancy on those days because we have to be out the door by about 6 at the very latest. We also had plenty of leftovers from Saturday, and I wanted to use some of the roasted vegetable salad that I had made. 

So for dinner I made myself a wrap of sorts with the leftover salad and salmon on a whole wheat tortilla. It came out great and was very filling!

Usually I have chicken as my protein on my wraps but we didn't have any prepped so I used the salmon as a quick substitute. Plus, it's always nice to switch things up a bit!

This wrap had:
1 can of wild caught salmon (Trader Joe's brand)
1 whole wheat tortilla
2 cups of my leftover roasted vegetable salad
sprinkle of sunflower seeds
rice vinegar & soy sauce

I don't usually like canned fish but I do like Trader Joe's brand. It never has that metallic canned taste but I still prefer to saute the fish a bit to get some color and flavor added. I just drain all the juice from the can, put the salmon in a saucepan and brown it for a few minutes on high. I also added pepper, roasted garlic seasoning, and some salt. I get the unsalted salmon so it's only in water. If not, I wouldn't recommend adding extra salt because that stuff is usually salty enough! 

While my salmon was cooking, I prepped the tortilla and salad! There were plenty of leftover roasted carrots and peppers and a few walnut pieces that added some texture to the wrap. 

Then, once the salmon was cooked I added it on top of the lettuce. I sprinkled some sunflower seeds for more crunch, then a splash of rice vinegar and some soy sauce to give the salmon more flavor. 

And voila! A very macro-friendly wrap for my dinner that took me less than 10 minutes to make. 

Macros: 320 calories, 19g carbs, 51g protein, and 6g fat

Celebrating One Year Home!

This past Saturday, October 25th, marked my mom being home for an entire year. For those of you who don't know, this is hugely significant to me and my family. In May 2013, my mom had a brain aneurysm and suffered from a hemorrhagic stroke. That's just a fancy medical term for saying that her brain started bleeding on itself after the blood vessel ruptured.

I thought a lot about what I might want to write in this post during my long run on Saturday morning. I prayed that I would have the right words because I didn't want to make it seem as though it was super dramatic to get attention or that I was bragging about myself and my sister or that my mom only survived because she had excellent doctors and nurses. Of course, she did have care from one of the top ten hospitals in the nation but even they admitted that they didn't think they could save her. So, as I was thinking on my run of what I wanted to write suddenly the answer seemed so clear to me: it's a celebration so why not celebrate?!

So, yeah, I could talk about the struggles during the past year because believe me there were plenty of them. Again, I get zero credit of that because God got us through it and Amanda did all the tough work by staying home with my mom since I had already started my full-time job. Not trying to be humble or throw a pity party but that is my true opinion because whatever little I may have helped with, it was all through God and His will.

Anyway, I decided that I wanted this to be a post full of celebrating the whole year since my mom had been home because we were fortunate enough to have those moments together that at one point, I thought we'd never have again. God has been nothing but good to us and He gets all the glory!

So, here's a little timeline of all the wonderful things we got to experience this past year!

November 2013: Thanksgiving!

December 2013: Christmas!

 It was such a joy to watch her unwrap her presents, and one of our best Christmases together so far!

And here's a silly one for good measure! 

February 2014: LAYLA :)

 And of course, WE GOT A PUPPY!!!!!

Also, can we please just talk about what a little bean she used to be! I was able to scoop her up in one arm and carry her around like a little football, those were the days! Whenever I look through old pictures of her when we first got her, I literally squeal with delight because I can't handle how adorable she was (is!). Ok sorry for my crazy dog-mom rant, moving on.

She also served as a perfect little alarm clock for my mom :) I mean who doesn't want to wake up to puppy kisses?!

April 2014: Amanda's Birthday and Easter! 

Lalalalaaaa she's gonna kill me for this one ;)

Anyway, my mom loved being able to celebrate Amanda's birthday with her and be a part of the surprise party! I took her shopping with me so that she was able to pick out her own gifts for Amanda and it was precious because afterwards my mom thanked me with tears in her eyes for allowing her to be part of it. 

Once the weather got nicer in the spring, we were able to take my mom for short walks outside as part of her therapy and allowing her to get some sun! And, yes, that is exactly what it looks like: me and Layla photobombing at our finest. 

May 2014: She Made It a Year! 

It was amazing that day because I got so many calls and texts from friends and family talking about how they found out exactly one year ago what had happened. It was truly so loving and kind! 

We celebrated that day by going to a little Greek Food Festival and filling up on gyros and baklava. If that doesn't say celebration then I don't know what does...

Summer 2014

In June, we were actually able to go on vacation to the beach! It was awesome for us to be able to get away and just spend some time together. What was even better was how far my mom had come to be able to travel, stay in a different house, and enjoy herself! In October when she first came home, there was no way she would have been able to go anywhere. Which was just more evidence of how far she has come! 

We also took fun little day trips during the summer around some of our favorite spots. Like Phipps! And based off most of these pictures, I think we can all figure out by now that I'm a little weird. 

Fall 2014

Another blessing throughout the past year is just little moments like this. My mom helping me bake in the kitchen, doing a small craft with us, or coming along to run errands to Target or Sam's Club. When I think back over the past year, yeah it's awesome to have the big milestones like holidays or vacation, but what truly pieces the past year together are the moments like this. The small ones that might get overlooked in the big picture but the ones you'll never forget. 

And this was taken the past Saturday on the 25th, after she had been home a whole year. We threw her a surprise party where all our family and friends came over to celebrate! She absolutely loved it and was so excited that we took the time to plan it out. 

So, all in all, looking over this past year we've been through a lot. Struggles and triumphs, arguments and apologies, tears and laughter but through everything we've loved one another and our God. It's times like this that make me reflect on how beautiful life truly is and how every day is such a gift! 

I'll leave you guys with this: today take a little extra time to be with those you love, to tell them how much they mean to you, or show them that you care. You never know what's around the bend so treasure the moments as they come!